''Twas the bailout before Christmas

Jay Kaeppel, Optionetics.com
December 18, 2008

''Twas the bailout before Christmas, and people said with a gasp,
“Hey look, is that a stock market collapse!?”
The Big Three CEOs skulked like rats from their lairs,
And begged, hoping billions soon would be theirs!

The bankers meanwhile nestled snug in their beds,
While taxpayer dollars danced in their heads!
The citizens were stunned, like lemmings in May,
Wondering how much more would be taken away!

The dollar it plunges, the deficit soars,
Investment capital is fleeing our shores!
Illegals pour in, we’re treated like pawns,
We’re told time and again we can’t tend our own lawns!

Down savings, down home price, down 401K,
We “hope” to have “change” left at the end of the day!
And just when we thought our fate hadn’t been sealed,
They sell us a t-bill with a negative yield!

When down on the Senate floor there arose such a blather,
(We’d not heard such hot air since the demise of Dan Rather!)
And to no one’s surprise, we learned in a flash,
They’d voted again to spend more of our cash!

Bush now rides off, he’s made all of us cringe,
Now he’s spending our money like a Dem on a binge!
Printing more money and priming the pump,
The Fat Cats are certain of remaining quite plump!

"On Obama! On Biden! On Pelosi and Ried,
From fiscal restraint, you now have been freed!
Raise taxes, raise rules, regulations and fees,
Keep it up ‘til the last oil company flees!"

Tax coal, tax carbon, bid Hummers adieu,
Tax natural gas, electricity… hell, oxygen too!
Away Iraq and Iran and Guantanamo Bay,
“Please some one, just make it all go away!”

We just want our Hi-Def and “Dancing with Stars”,
We buy iPods and Wii’s, heck who needs new cars?!
We trust for some reason those running our government
Never mind who got us in this predicament!

This trust is quite odd, it defies all good reason
For they become more corrupt, as they develop more “season”!
But we just keep electing them, though we’re never sure which
Will defiantly stand as our next Rod Blagovich!

Way back when we were free to “speak” and “believe”
We’ve been shoved overboard now with one mighty heave!
Yes, the times there are changin’, or so it would seem,
Your government is now one big Ponzi scheme!

The old days they are over, yes this much is clear
The politicians'' response: “Send your money here!”
So don’t look back even once, just embrace the new way.
Perhaps buy a Senate seat off of eBay!

Then when all seemed lost, came a man with a sack,
His eye’s how they shifted, like coal they were black!
His bag it reads “TARP,” he doles out cash where most bleak,
‘Til he changes his mind again early next week!

He moved away from the light, not unlike a thief,
“We’re about to get screwed” was our common belief!
But I heard him exclaim, as we shouted our beef,
"Happy Bailout to some!” Our reply, “Oh Good Grief!"